Letter to my Subscribers

“There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one.” – Jill Churchill
Dear Whom this may concern,
Whether you are my subscriber, friend, family member, passer-byer, hater, no one…I felt the need to come from behind my walls and say something. A lot of people have felt the need to speculate what is going on in my life. I say speculate because there is really only two people who know the truth, Kris and myself. Yes we are no longer together and it has been a very difficult time for me. The rumours are flying around like the crazy and the people who start them don’t know the damage it causes. I wish and pray for nothing but my family to be together, but the reality is this is no longer a possibility. It is unfair for people to judge me, and “recommend” how I should change my life to what they think is best for my child. I am doing the best I can without support. It is very difficult for Jude to be without me. He is not exposed to violence or any kind of abuse, Kris and I love our son very much. He is young and is still breastfeeding. He has some medical issues and his doctor commends me for continuing to breastfeed even though it is a daily struggle for me. My back is killing me because he is so heavy. I will do anything for my son’s well being despite any reticule I might face. I do plan to return to school this up coming semester to not only further my education, but to provide myself with a strong successful future for me and my son.
I might not be what everyone compares me to and that’s perfect. I am far from it and packed with flaws but I am doing my very best to keep a positive head on my shoulders so that I can be healthy and happy for my son. Jude is my love, life, light. Before he was alive, Kris was my everything. It was depicted through my blog, Twitter, MySpace, Facebook, and a lot of my YouTube videos. He was a huge reason I started my videos and kept going. Some where along the way things changed, and I had no choice but to except them. It has been hard for me to deal with or break up, but like everything, time will pass and I will get over it. I just ask now, for people to respect our privacy and not add to this hard time. I love Kris and will always care for him because he is the father of my son.

I appreciate the love, support, prayers, and words of encouragement.

*Latina Kisses*
-Sonia

100 thoughts on “Letter to my Subscribers

  1. That makes me sad cause I also im a single mother of 3 lovely kids and have been for about a year! I am only 23 and I love my life. I think you are doing an awesome job and as long as that matter who cares what other people say. I wish you the best of luck but I know you dont need it casue you'll be fine!

  2. I totally perceive you as being a great mom and a sweet girl. This is about fashion, makeup, and fun and yes its unavoidable to speak about your life and its crazy to me how people just take it to another level. I definitely enjoy your blog and vids! Wish you the BEST.

  3. I am a single mom of a 4 year old boy. I was 22 when I gave birth and I have been single since he was 2 weeks old. Don't worry you will be ok. Take time to heal and enjoy being by yourself and enjoy your son. Men take your attention from the kids anyway… hee hee hee. Enjoy your new found freedom.

  4. Anybody who makes comments where they are putting you down and even spreading rumors do so because they have nothing better to do and need to get a life of their own. We can all criticize people for the decisions they make, but in reality, we never know what we would do until we are in that same situation. The best thing you can ever do is look out for your family's best interest and as long as you do what's best for you, baby Jude and Kris, you shouldn't even let anyone else's opinions or rumors get to you. Keep strong! You are an inspiration to so many of us strangers πŸ™‚

  5. you are such a strong woman to stand up for yourself and your family and write this but i wish you never even had to. nobody has the right to judge you and tell you how to live your life. i dont know you personally, but i see the love you have for your son in every one of your posts. i have no doubt you will always do what is best for him and your family. god bless and stay strong. you have so many supporters! <3

  6. Sonia ,

    Can't believe you explaining yourself ???? Why why , your a great mom , let no one take that away from you …. Your strong , beautiful , and we all know how much you love Jude …. Stay strong , God bless you and your precious dunka.

    Xoxo
    Deanne

  7. Like so many have said, it's sad that you even had to write this. I learned a long time ago to stop listening to the “know it alls” and my life would be so much better and peaceful! Learn it well when you are young! Your business is just that, your business and it's not anyone's else's to tell you what to do and how to do it. Advice is better when asked for. Stay strong and stay close to God and you'll be fine.

  8. you don't need to explain anything to anybody! it really is no one's business what is going on in your life and it's horrible how people gossip. putting yourself out there has to be very hard. you can only do what you think is best for you and your family and it doesn't matter what other people think. good luck with everything! i wish you and your family the best.

  9. You don't need to give people an explanation about you personal life.The only one person on this earth who DESERVES an explanation is your son.Im one of your many yt subbies and so far i think your a great mom to your son and im really happy your thinking of going back to school!

  10. It is really nobody's business whatever is going on with you and Kris. You can always share with us whatever you are feeling, because whatever you are going thru must be hard. Letting your feelings out might help a little, but we won't judge you. People who speculate things, are immature and have nothing better to do. Don't worry about them, those are people who are just being nosy and don't care when they make stupid comments.

    Hope everything is turns out for the better, best wishes for the 3 of you. Que Dios Te Bendiga πŸ™‚

  11. hey sonia. i wish you nothing but luck and happiness in your life and in your son's life. i come to your blog often because i like watching your videos i also enjoy reading about the knowledge you have about make up and fashion. i feel for you because i am sure you are going through a different change in your life, but just remember that you dont need to explain yourself to anyone. let people think whatever they want. people will always talk no matter how hard you try to explain, people tend to misinterpret or assume things all the time. focus on yourself and your kid and let the haters hate. stay positive and i send nothing but love and healthy thoughts to you and your family. i will always be a fan of sccastaneda.

  12. don't regard the internet hate sonia, it's so insignificant .. you have a beautiful boy and it looks like you've raised him wonderfully. when people on the internet found out my husband and I were having a baby I read all sorts of crap like I should be punched in the stomach, that kid will be sooo messed up, etc etc. people have no lives and are so ignorant. there is no handbook describing the way to be a 100% perfect parent. what may be good for one child may not be for another. no one, especially strangers, has the right to tell you when to stop breastfeeding your kid or what kind of relationship he should have with his dad. it's really sad that people even feel justified to give “pointers” of this nature. no one has ever been in your exact situation but yourself and you are doing a great job, your boy will be very proud of you when he's a man. xoxo

    HALCOHOLIC.com

  13. Sonia, I am sorry to see you're going through this. I almost followed you from the first video you made on youtube, i followed you moved back to where you are, and happy for you when you announced you were pregnant till now. Please stay strong, and be always happy for what you have. I love you and love your son.
    Wish you all the best in the future, and I really mean it.

  14. Sonia,

    There are a lot of people who admire you (including myself:)) you are an inspiration to more people than you know (like the 15 yr old that commented earlier). I love reading your blog and feel like you have become a friend. Thank you so much for sharing your very special life with us!!! I really enjoy your blog, keep doing what your doing! I pray God will bring you joy, love and peace into your life. Going back to school and being a single mom aren't easy, but you can do it!! Know that there are plenty of people cheering you on :)!!!

  15. There are way more ppl full of love and support than people who are hateful, know that more want to see you succeed and be happy than not!!! Remember ppl are only nasty and mean when they hate themselves. Look at all those comments full of love and affirmation! Good for you, I hope this brings you comfort and support!!

  16. I feel very sad to see you hurting like this.It actually made me tear up to read your post, because I see you as such a geniune sweet person.Im sure I'm not alone when I say that I do care about your well-being and happiness.Don't EVER let anyone put you down.Know your worth.Te queremos mucho Sonia.*can't help but cry again*
    You're going to pull through.I know it! πŸ™‚

  17. Sonia,
    I started following you on youtube about a year ago. I was a new mom too. And thought you were doing a great job with your beauty videos and being a MOM. I commend you for being real. You have allowed me to face my issues in my relationship with my husband. And even though I don't know you. I am just here to say, that as Latina women, we must stay strong and set examples for our children especially our sons. So that they become great husbands and fathers.

    Please read my blog: http://kekerivera.blogspot.com/

  18. It's very sad that you even had to write this post, but I have seen how many rude comments and accusations people have made on your previous posts and it's unreal. Jude appears to be a happy little “dunka” (-; and that's all that matters… Your personal life is really none of our business… Although, true supporters do like some insight because we want to encourage you, however, in the end it's truly not our business. I hope nothing but the best for you and will keep you and Jude in my prayers during your tough time. It will get easier Sonia, I've been where you are right now… just not so publicly but it WILL get better!!

    <3

  19. Hey πŸ™‚ Firstly, that post was beautifully written and incredibly poliet and subtle. You seem smart. I hope that you feel better soon and regain your confidence.

    However, although i totally agree that people should respect your privacy I also think that prehaps being rather vocal about your personal life and son is partly to blame. Its COMPELETLY your desicion on what you put out on the internet for the world to see but if you always write about how wonderful your son is and how you and Kris were such amazing parents then you are bound to get messages. Dont get me wrong, I love the way you adore your son, and like every parent think that your child is the best. But prehaps not the whole world needs to know. Im just saying. Sometimes it can come across slightly big headed and arrogant.

    Your a lovely,lovely person and I wrote this because I thought you would understand.

    Much Love and Luck
    xx

  20. You should not have to justify your life to anyone, but the fact that you took your time to explain something that is no ones business but your own shows what type of person you are πŸ™‚ stay strong and I wish nothing but the best for you and your adorable Jude!
    xoo

  21. I think you are very brave to write this and it is honestly nobody's business to judge you or your family. Good luck with school and keep doing what yuor doing! πŸ™‚

  22. I completely agree with what this person wrote!!!
    they took the words right out of my mouth!

    i love all of your videos and blog posts sonia!
    keep it up!!! and stay strong! πŸ™‚

    _________________________________________________

    Hey πŸ™‚ Firstly, that post was beautifully written and incredibly poliet and subtle. You seem smart. I hope that you feel better soon and regain your confidence.

    However, although i totally agree that people should respect your privacy I also think that prehaps being rather vocal about your personal life and son is partly to blame. Its COMPELETLY your desicion on what you put out on the internet for the world to see but if you always write about how wonderful your son is and how you and Kris were such amazing parents then you are bound to get messages. Dont get me wrong, I love the way you adore your son, and like every parent think that your child is the best. But prehaps not the whole world needs to know. Im just saying. Sometimes it can come across slightly big headed and arrogant.

    Your a lovely,lovely person and I wrote this because I thought you would understand.

    Much Love and Luck
    xx

  23. Sonia, you are a strong woman. Many gurus are just that, people who post videos that instruct others how to put on some makeup. However, you have never posted a video or blogpost that's not been true to who you are. For that reason, you go above and beyond and show how genuine you are. I am glad to have someone to look up to.

    I wish you the best with your family, even though you have proven that you take fate into your own hands. Keep your spirits up. You're a wonderful person.

    -A grateful subscriber.

  24. No matter what you do, you will not please everyone. There will always be a person who will try to “read between the lines” or take your words out of context or just make assumptions based on what they believe to be the truth. The only people you need to worry about is yourself and Jude. Your happiness will be reflected in everything you do and he will see that. Be content in knowing that you are doing the best you know how and everything else will just fall into place. I wish you and Jude the best of luck through this.

  25. Dear Sonia,

    I am one of your youtube subscribers and visit your blog from time to time. I had no idea of what had happened between you and Kris, and am truly very sad to know that you two are no longer together. Many women know exactly what it is that you're going through, and it saddens and upsets me that anyone would want to put you down. It looks to me that you're making the very best of a difficult time in your life and I admire you for it.

    I would also like to address the breastfeeding issue, as it is something very near and dear to my heart. Please continue to breastfeed for as long as you find it necessary for your son, and as long as it makes you both happy. Society has such a negative attitude towards extended breastfeeding even though it is excellent for a child's health and really what nature intended. If he were still on a bottle, and continued to be on a bottle til he was three years old, less people would make a fuss out of it, but breastfeed past one year and people think it's weird. It's not. My son is now past two years old and is still breastfeeding. I'm working on weaning him slowly, but I don't regret having breastfed him this long because it's what works for us and makes us happy. Wean him when you feel it's the right time do it, not when others tell you that you should.

    Again, I wish only the best for you, your son, and even Kris. God bless you.

  26. You are a very brave young woman to address all of your followers etc. I admire you for having the courage to talk about it and to be so mature and understanding. You are an amazing person. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. God and your family willhelp you through this. I have been there too. I completely empathize with you. Jude is very lucky to have such a wonderful mom to put his needs first. Being a mom is one of the most rewarding achievements in life. Tip for breastfeeding; Drink lots of avena or oatmeal. Bacalao is good too for helping to produce more milk. I will say a prayer for you and your family. I really enjoy watching your videos. Que dios te bengias y te guradas. LadyLuvLatina

  27. There is some really sick people out in this world that think getting in another persons business makes there life so much better. You are a great mother and all the hateful comments out there cant take that away from you. Stay strong and you be you! We all think you rock!!!

  28. Obviously he cheated on her. This is very sad and I hope you are okay. I remember in one of your videos (with Kris), you mentioned that someone had sent you a message (on myspace or facebook) that she had hooked up with Kris, and you blew it off by saying that wasn't possible because you two were always together. But, you could tell by the look on his face… Sorry to hear this, but you will prevail. You are strong and a wonderful mother.

  29. i love you sonia.
    im 14 and i live in england and i completely love you.
    you are a good mama,good make up guru,a good friend and a good wife.
    i know i dont know you as a person and so it kinda sounds silly to say all that,but thats how you come across.
    As bubbly,funny,laidback,generous
    and caring person.I aspire to be like you because you have such a good attitude and you always put me in a good mood.
    i love your figure and its NOT a block of cheese and you do have calf muscles! you should see mine,HUGE! πŸ™‚
    you always look pretty,even with crazy scary make up on-like in your halloween video(:
    and you are grateful for everything,you appreciate everything you have such as jude and your subsribers.
    i just frickin' love you!
    and by the way im 'pookiesmiley' on you tube-im a subsriber and cant wait for your next video <3

    *Latina Kisses* πŸ™‚
    Ella x

  30. Hi,
    Hope your feeling better ironic enough I read this on this blog.

    “The greatest irony of love is loving the right person at the wrong time, having the wrong person when the time is right and finding out you love someone right after they walk out of your life. For some, they think that letting go is one way of expressing how much they love that person. In my opinion, some are afraid to see the one they love being held by someone else. Most relationships tend to fail not because of the absence of love. Love is always present. It's just that one was being loved too much, and the other was being loved too little.”

    http://anniepop.blogspot.com/2010/04/greatest-irony-of-love.html

    I hope you keep your head up high and stay happy and enjoy your life with your beautiful son.

    Take care and God Bless you.

  31. I really give you props for being strong and sharing your private life with your viewers. From one mom to another I understand all you may be going thru, but as the saying goes, if it doesn't kill you it will only make you stronger. Best of wishes for you and your family & may you accomplish all your goals you set out. I will continue to be a fan and follow you on your journey. Thanks for being you.

  32. I just read this.. It sad that people are so judgemental coz they couldn't put you in their own box..
    Anyway, just do what is right in your own way as you know best.. Wishing you and the little one well.. πŸ™‚

  33. Hi Sonia, I understand you and I really believe that you are doing a great job with your son and I know that you deserve the best. I know how hard it is to be a single mom.. Thank you for sharing this with us. I wish you nothing but the best.. =0)

  34. Sonia,
    I'm so sorry you're experiencing all of this. Honestly, I had no idea. I was just watching your Sexy Clubbing Makeup video and the second you mentioned dropping Jude off at his Dad's, that sent off a red flag. We don't know each other at all but I wish I had your phone # to contact you personally. You inspire so many through your YouTube videos and I wish you could help me out on a more serious topic. I don't know the details of your relationship or break up but I'd like to know how you're coping? My 10 year relationship has come to an end, we still live together until March due to financial commitments. I am depressed, heartbroken, sad, sleep deprived, I don't eat, and I feel like I just want to ball myself up and not even wake up. Surrounding myself with friends and family is not working which I expect for you to tell me that that is one way you're coping. Its just not working for me. I know time heals but it seems like I can't even wait for the time to pass. Help.

  35. I hope everything works out. Jude is so adorable when you went to the mommy and me class. I feel your pain for Jude not having two parents because my parents are not together. You are really strong for talking about it. Try not to listen to the haters and rude people.
    Best Wishes & Happy Thanksgiving! Wish you the best ( and Kris to)

  36. so sad that you had to write a note to nosey people that are judging you and your life. you are a beautiful person and doing the best for you and your beautiful little boy and no one should be worrying about what you do with your life! they sadly dont have a life so they feel the need to judge yours.
    you are a beauitful woman and stay strong for you and your son!<3

  37. Girl iw as about to start crying.. when i read the last part.. keep your head up girl.. u know that in life someons always going to try and push you donw.. for me being gay is the hardest part.. and having to deal with fam do doesnt accept it is hard.. but.. just keep you head up.. and good luck with the whole school thing i hope it works out amazing for you..

    with love

    hairbytony.

  38. I HOPE ALL TURNS OUT FOR THE BEST, BUT REALLY THEIR IS NO REASON TO WRITE THIS, ITS NOT ANYONES BUISNESS
    EITHER WAY UR LOOKING GREAT, CAN U TELL US ABOUT UR DIET PLEASE

  39. Sonia
    You are such an amazing woman!!!
    I think that your life will be full of awesome and incredible things, I hope that God bless You and Jude! I also hope you can be amazingly happy! Well I only wanted give you my support! πŸ™‚ Sorry about my English, IΒ΄m from Colombia and I'm not quite good using the language! Hugs and a lot of good wishes! <3

    Diana πŸ˜€

  40. I know that every heartbreak is different but I, as I'm sure many other single mothers, understand what you are going through. I struggled to accept and love myself and often searched for validation from others…especially men. Until I found him. A man that loved me and promised me forever. And when I promised him the same I meant it and I gave him a son. When our son was 6 weeks he left me and its obvious his love for me is gone . I'm sad to say I knew we were over before he made it official but it still hurts. It hurts so bad. Especially knowing that my son won't have the family life I know he deserves.

    Sorry to tell me whole life story but I really feel like your blog and videos have inspired me to live life and move on for my son. I never have felt beautiful, being overweight w/o the perks of big boobs or butt(in fact the exact opposite) but you show me how to accent what I do have. I had my baby only 3 months ago so Im even bigger than before and that seems to be all anyone talks about but now when I try your makeup styles they compliment my look and are happy that I care enough about myself to take care of ME.

    I have you to thank for that. A funny girl with great tips and advice who let me into her life to share her tricks all the way from California. I appreciate you for being strong enough to put yourself out there for people like me to know they are not alone. You are a wonderful mommy, and Jude is a BEAUTIFUL young man. You know who are, and you owe no person any explanation. Stay strong, beautiful, and kind. For yourself, your son, and your SUBBIES. πŸ™‚

    -SRW

  41. I really hope from the bottom of my heart that everything turn out for the best what ever that might be because only you know what it is.

    Im a mother of two a boy and a girl and I know what having a child does to a girl. Turns life a full 360. So you and your little one are in my prayers.

    http://caricollazo.blogpsot.com

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