Jude and I spend a lot of time together. Naturally, where I am he is. I make it my mission to spend time with him outdoors. Today we went on a hike with our dogs, while my favorite worship songs played loudly in my pocket. My family’s faith has been tested and strengthened in the last 6 months. You might have seen a post of two mentioning the woman’s bible study I joined 7 weeks ago, I needed God. My son has been dealing with a string of challenges and he’s finally feeling…free. Jude started showing signs of anxiety many years ago and it only intensified over the years. We thought it was just a phase, it didn’t go away. His emotions were all over, ranging from sadness, boredom, and anger. He didn’t know how to express himself.
Because I am on YouTube, I am judged for everything including my parenting. I am always compared to other influencers and how they choose to raise their children. Ive been sent so many bibles, passive aggressively, I could start my own church. A few made comments about how my son isn’t in private school and how selfish I am to not give him the best education with the resources I have. The truth is, I tried. He was attending Christian private school during summer. Kris and I volunteered 2 days a week to support our son and accompany his class on field trips. My son was dismissed only a month in because he had sever anxiety – not getting into a fight, no rules were broken – simply because he was having an anxiety attack and they didn’t know how to deal with it. There was no prayer, no sympathy for my son, no nothing. I was handed a check and I left with my sons hand in mine. I assured him that I was happy with him, and grateful we had the opportunity to find somewhere better.
From that moment I was going to do whatever it took to ensure he would NEVER feel dismissed by anyone, because of who he is and what he is going through. This post is not to shame him, but to shed light on mental health and to give hope to others. Through my research and personal therapy, I feel comfort knowing I am not alone. My son is not the only one, my family is not the only ones feeling this way. There is light at the end. There are better days to come. I am happier and grateful for the healing my son and family are finally experiencing. Amen!
YouTube has been a place were influencers have shared only the best parts of their lives. If connecting with my followers has always been my motivation for uploading…I knew I needed to start sharing. Im on a journey to start living my purpose. If you too are going through something similar, please feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section. I would love to connect.