Motherhood: Challenges at School
I am pretty open about things that happen to me and things that effect me. My son is a beautiful blessing and I would never say I wish I could take him back for anything. He is the reason I am where I am, in this bed, in this room, in this house – I did all of this for him. BUT- It has been challenging being Jude’s mommy. Most recently since starting school he has been in trouble and sent to the principles office more times than I can count for “fighting”. He is a strong willed boy.
I have changed up my ways of discipline over the years. The way I was raised was how I started and it did not work. It only made me feel bad and made him feel scared of me. The same fear I had of my mother. Don’t get it twisted – I love her and she’s amazing – but my style is always evolving. I am currently using TIME OUT like he does at school so that is consistent and it works…for the most part.
So in the recent months he has become very physical at school with others. I don’t care if its common – I don’t want it to continue. I have been told “He’s a boy, he’s fine”. If he came home hurt from another child at school I would raise hell. But he’s the hell raiser and Im his mama – so its been a tough pill to swallow for sure. Anyone else have this problem?
I called my aunt who has her own battles raising a strong willed child and she gave me so much information and insight…it was comforting. Almost like she gave me a tight hug over the phone. I was so lucky to have her to turn to for this kind of support. I unfortunately am guilty of making faces or senseless comments about her parenting in the past because I didn’t understand. Boy do I ever, now. He’s not a total terror because he can be with others and not fight but the amount of times has been so high I decided to see if anyone else had this problem. This is not an open forum to tell me how to raise him – Im asking mother to mother if there are any of you who are dealing with this and how you are remedying this situation.
*Latina Kisses*
I have a 2 year old bandit that has his own opinion. I can deal with him now, but i'm afraid for the future…When he will be a school boy…I wish i could help you, but i can't. I'm sure your going to figure it out together! 🙂
I have a 3 year old son who was making me feel like a bad Mother who couldn't control her kid. Never thought I would be “that Mom” the one who all the other parents were shaking their heads at and who was looking over her shoulder in the parking lot waiting to be yelled at. I was calling his school throughout the day praying for no bad news, timeout, taking away his action hero toys, clothing and movies. I even cried to him asking him WHY! But none of that seemed to work. Until I started sending him to bed early on a “Needs improvement” day. Dinner, bath and bed all done by 6:30-7. He would beg, try to bargain with me and cry but I stood my ground and didn't give in. I think that worked the best because he was left out of our nighttime fun (play, read books, watch a movie together) Plus he got more sleep which always helps! I also asked him to tell me a better way he could have handled the situation instead of hitting or pushing. I think by listening to him shows him I care, that I'm disappointed not angry. I also stopped using negative words like, “bad”, “not listening” or “can't” and started replacing them with “be good”, “paying attention” or “you can”. Raising him has been a challenge but he's teaching me a lot about myself, having to be patient, clever and strong-willed isn't easy. It's nieve to shrug it off and say “he's just a boy” or “he'll grow out of it” because that'll create a monster. Whenever I start feeling discouraged, ashamed or embarrassed I tell myself, “I'm doing my best and I'm not alone walking this road”
well i think you are a great mother that is for sure! I think what it could be is the parental thing – confusion from his house to your house and introducing him to ur wonderful sugar in the mix. he could be confused as a child and he could prob well know deep inside without really putting into words that mommy and daddy are not together bc now there is a new guy:)
kids know inside their hearts and lil souls that something is different so they act out. that's what was going on with me when my parents divorced and even before they divorced i knew something had changed, something was different. so kids have an intuition and are really smart! but remember ur a wonderful mamma killin' the mamma game! smile sonia!!
I love everything you wrote! I have two boys ages 2 and 4 and I can totally relate.